the people we meet in life

There is a popular cliche in life that says, everything happens for a reason. Although I believe it, and I truly mean that, I never thought about what that really meant. I never sat down and asked myself what the lesson this phrase we throw around so nonchalantly actually possesses, or what it really means to practice it in our lives. 

More than I believe that actions happen for a reason, like being stuck in traffic but then getting to call someone I love, I believe in the fact that people enter and exist our lives with more meaning than we will ever be able to comprehend. 

As a 20-year-old, I am feeling this more than ever. High school friends came and went, and the best stayed around. Then, I came to college and the meaning of people completely switched in my mind. I mean this place is crawling with opportunity: a new person on every corner, someone you may fall in love with at your local bar or the desk across from you. When I stopped and thought about it, how could I have ever gotten so caught up in the ones that left?

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” I obviously can’t take credit for that but DAMN I wish I could. You never know the impact a human is supposed to have on you until you look back on it. 

For me, maybe that means looking back at a friend that taught me the lesson of growth. Maybe it was a relationship that demonstrated the kind of love I do and don’t want to receive. Or, maybe it is something as simple as an Uber driver who manages to teach me a lesson within our 5 minute interaction and a simple life story. 

We spend the majority of our days thinking about the past or the future. About the next guy we are bringing to a date party, that stupid choice we made last weekend, or plans for the next one. We dwell so much on the pain of the past, and the anxiety of the future, that we never stop to realize what’s happening now. Our minds never slow down enough to look down and think about where our feet lay. 

I’ve recently been learning to accept the fact that it’s okay to grow out of your relationships with others. The part that hurts is that it is also okay for them to want to grow out of one with us. Yet, no matter which way this goes, it can always be done with grace.

You can’t control how others will handle themselves, but you sure as hell can control your own choices. You can choose to walk away peacefully. Choose to not hold hate in your heart for someone who did you wrong. You can fight the urge to regret a choice or let the “what ifs” float over your head. You can instead choose to look at every relationship in your life with love. 

That shitty ex boyfriend who treated you like dirt? At least he taught you your self worth and how to never accept that kind of behavior again. A friend who left doing all the wrong things? Well good thing I choose to let the best moments stay on my mind and now have an understanding of how I can become a better friend moving forward. 

It truly is a work in progress, but I've been slowly deciding to just let life happen. It’s everyone’s first time being 20 too, what the hell do any of us know? 

There is a world of comfort waiting for you when you come to terms with the fact that life is completely out of your control. I look back at so many of my choices and realize the significance they held that I was completely oblivious to.  

I never knew the choice to attend a different school would’ve meant that I never got to meet some of my favorite people on this planet. I never knew that asking a weird freshman at field hockey tryouts to come to eat dinner with me would give me a friend for life. I never knew my dad and I talking about going to Paris would have changed my life and given me a whole new purpose. 

Life happens both in and out of our control. All the small and big moments combine in a way that we will never be able to predict. Instead of letting that scare the shit out of me, I am practicing taking comfort in letting life run its course. 

Every relationship, friendship, and interaction teaches you a lesson if you can learn to be perceptive to it. YOLO dude. If something doesn’t work out, at least you tried and can move forward. 

So, go out with your friends, tell that person you like them and shoot your shot, reach out and ask someone you think is cool to hangout. You never know who might be your next best friend, little prospective love interest or massive life lesson. Go for it. Appreciate people and all their beauty and the fact that we are able to love and meet new ones at every turn. 

Xoxo, P