things i have learned about love

I think it’s funny when people say love has limitations.

baby p in her tree-hugging, granola girly era

Think about every romance movie you’ve ever watched, every Jane Austen book you read in high school, every story you’ve heard from a grandparent about what love means—love always seemed to come with wisdom, time, and grace.

Yet the more love I get to experience, the more I don’t think that was ever true.

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Love—“an intense feeling of deep affection.”

What the hell does that even mean?

Well, like I said, it depends on who you ask. But lucky for you, you’re asking me. So here’s my not-so-perfect, not-so-mainstream take on “love” and what I’ve learned about it over the past 21 years.

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To love and to be loved are two of the greatest gifts we’re given as humans.

So love fully. Love everything with every ounce of your heart.

Life’s too short not to feel love for everything. Life’s too short to hold grudges and feel jealousy.

Choose to love. Choose to celebrate everyone’s wins—and especially your own.

Don’t let anyone tell you what love should be, or how and who you should give it to.

Yes, I know that technically includes me right now.

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Never compare the love you feel to the love others feel.

Ok, pause—this is an important one.

Love is not a one-size-fits-all T-shirt from the dollar section of your local Target. Love is something imperfectly created to be unique to all eight billion people on Earth.

You can feel love when you’re 15.

You can sit down at 21 and say, “Hey, maybe that wasn’t love after all”—and that’s okay too. Because in that moment, a moment you’ll never get back, you thought it was. You felt it. You expressed it. And that’s all that matters.

Love can’t even be compared when it comes to your love for yourself.

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I believe I’m one of the few people in this world who’s gotten to experience lots of different kinds of love.

Love that I don’t think was ever “love” at all.

Love I regretted saying out loud.

Love I wish I’d said sooner.

Love that people would call childish.

Yet at the end of the day, I’m the one who gets to walk away knowing I experienced it.

Knowing I’m one of the few lucky people who gets to realize it.

There’s so much love you don’t account for in your life.

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Love can be platonic.

Honestly, that’s where I find it the most abundantly.

Love can be for a place.

For a friend you’ve watched grow up beside you.

For a friend you just met.

For a picture taped to your mirror.

For a meal that reminds you of home.

For a book that takes you to your favorite imaginary place.

For a movie that makes all your stress disappear.

For the joy of your first sip of warm coffee in the morning.

Love doesn’t always have to be romantic.

But when it is, no one should be able to tell you otherwise.

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I have no idea what love feels like to you.

The only way I can describe love is through the times I’ve come in contact with it.

Jane Austen might have a different opinion on that though.

Right now, I’m in the most natural love I’ve ever felt.

One that’s as easy as breathing.

But people often tell me I shouldn’t be feeling that at 21.

They say this is when I should be “playing the field,” being “young and reckless,” or that I “won’t know what love really is until I have kids” or have been married for decades.

Why?

They have no idea what my love feels like.

I could explain it a million different ways, tell a million different stories that perfectly showcase what it feels like to love and be loved by him.

But I should never have to convince anyone for it to be valid.

The love itself will always be enough.

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At the end of the day, I’m here to say that love can be whatever you want it to be.

“Life’s what you make it,” and so is love.

So go play!

Go out to eat at 5 p.m. and watch a movie on the couch before bedtime at 8 p.m. like a little old couple.

Walk in the park and stop for ice cream because you always loved that as a kid.

Print your favorite picture and tape it to your mirror so you feel love first thing in the morning.

Eat ranch with your pizza.

Send your parents a song you all used to listen to in the car.

Tell a stranger at the bar she looks hot—because if someone told YOU that YOU looked hot at the bar… shit, man, I’m cheesing just thinking about it.

Write a note to your childhood best friend who probably wants to reach out to you too.

Go back to the beach you always visited on family vacations.

Acknowledge that love is everything you want it to be.

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The second I learned that, I realized I was the most loving person on the planet.

(Hint: you are too.)

Love has no limitation.

Stop robbing yourself of the greatest feeling there ever was.

It’s all around you—when you choose to look.

I “love” you.

xoxo, P