friends who bring out the best in you

A little glimpse into some of my most favorite people and how they have changed my life

How many people have told you that “who you are surrounded by is who you become?”

If you’re asking me, I know it is well over a thousand. No, no, not really but seriously, they say it because it’s true. I'm talking about it right now because it is an undeniable truth about life. I was listening to a TedTalk yesterday about eliminating self doubt. One: it was an amazing talk. Two: that’s not what I am here to talk about. Three: I am going to talk about it for a second hold on.

He said that if you are in a group of 9 druggies, you will inherently become the 10th. If you are in a group of 9 unmotivated, last-luster individuals, you will inherently become the 10th.

Whether or not we choose to accept it, the people we surround ourselves with are a direct reflection of the person we WANT to become. I put emphasis on the want because it’s not about who you are when you start being friends with them that matters, it’s the person who you want to become as a result of surrounding yourself with them that carries the weight.

If college has taught me anything at all, it is the power of the people you surround yourself with. First semester is your chance to experiment. In the midst of every aspect of your life changing, you get the opportunity to test the waters. To use trial and error to find the things and people you love, and the kind of person you want to become by the end of it.

It is through this journey that you discover aspects of yourself you didn’t even know were there. For me, I found that through people. I learned that there is a reason every person in my life is here. There is a story they are meant to tell and a lesson they are meant to teach me.

When you can learn to think about people in that light, your life takes a turn for the better. No longer are people wronging you, hurting you, and being a bad friend. Now, they are teaching you a lesson that was meant for you to be taught. They are allowing you to grow into an even better, stronger and happier version of your previous self.

Yet the beauty of this is that there are also an infinite amount of people who teach us happy lessons. The people that bring out the best in you. I believe that you should have an array of people who bring out different aspects of who you are. People who highlight your most authentic self and push you out of your comfort zone.

Now, what better way to prove I’m not just pulling this out of my ass then to give you some examples of it in my life.

Confidence

Although all of your friends “hype you up” or assure you that your outfit looks amazing before you go out, having a friend that brings out your confidence is different. A friend that when you are around them, they make you feel empowered. The friend who makes you want to book that flight, buy the ticket, talk to that guy, and oftentimes get you into some pretty hilarious shit. They make you feel unstoppable. Being in their presence feels like wearing a bulletproof vest. They are comfort in a person and your number one fan. Everyone needs a Baxley Smith.

Inner Child

If you haven’t had this friend, you need to go and find her right now. The one who screams Taylor Swift with you in the car and only communicates through snapchats vlogs and excessively long voice memos. The one who takes the party themes all too seriously and makes you laugh until you cry. The one who just seeing them can make your entire day flip upside down. The one who makes you dance until 3 a.m. and is always down for a car ride and Cava date. They make your inner child feel safe. Everyone needs a Margaret Gallagher.

Light

Have you ever heard of the term “your sunshine,”? The person who lights up the room with their smile and makes you feel pure joy. The person who knows you better than you know yourself and tells you even the things you don't want to hear. The one who sends you never ending Instagram reels and pictures of her children, her two dogs. The person who makes you wear your heart on your sleeve and feel utterly yourself. The one who FaceTimes you when any and everything happens. Holds your hair and tells you to get back up. The one who brings out your light: the brightest and most genuine parts of yourself and tells you to share them with the world. Find your light, find your Ella Knapp.

Home

There’s only so many friends I have that I can say feel like home. Who you can sit in silence with for hours and feel comforted by their presence. Who you run out of things to talk about with because they already know every aspect of their life. Who you can cry to and know that they will know just the right thing to say. Who brings you coffee without you asking and wishes you luck on that test you didn’t even know they knew about. The one who brings out your soft side. The one who has turned into a sister rather than a friend. Everyone needs a Quin Braithwate.

Humble

It isn’t often that people come into your life that ground you. And I mean truly ground you. Who make you feel secure and remind you of the important things in life. The ones whose shoulders you fall asleep on when watching a movie and share your love for a good Olivia Rodrigo car ride with. The ones who you want to surround yourself with 24/7 because they make you a better version of yourself. Who you can talk to about anything and everything and instantly feel better. The people you want to share your lowest lows and highest highs with. The people who shine confidence on your ambitions and you can let your walls down around. The people whose doors are always open and never fail to put a smile on your face. Everyone needs a Sarah Savage and Olivia Bane.

Authentic

To be truly authentic is to be genuine. To say everything from the bottom of your heart and truly feel for those around you. To have people who make you feel authentic is one of the most powerful things in the world. The kind of people who jump up and down when they see you and whose hugs feel like a warm cup of coffee. Who sit down and want to hear all about your day and give you the best advice you didn’t even know you needed. The people who show you, rather than tell you, how much they care every day, and through everything they do. Everyone needs a Meghan Mckinney and Isabella Cavallo.

Love

One of the strongest emotions and feelings in the world. Love doesn’t come easy to all. But, to the girl who’s been by your side for the past 6 years, it does. The girl who has grown up with you and seen you at your finest, and most flawed, moments. The girl who is always there and makes you a better version of yourself even if they are 235 miles away. The one who is a second daughter to your mom and whose house gives you a sense of peace. The one who makes you laugh the hardest and whose calls mean the most. Whose voice puts you at ease the minute you hear it. The person who wants to travel the world with you and live like everything is “for the plot”. The girl who will be the batshit crazy aunt to your kids and drink wine on your back porch while you laugh about the life you lived together. Your person, through and through. Everyone must have an Isabelle Atkins.

Badass

One of the most important types of people to surround yourself by. Your partner in crime. The girl who listens to 50 cent no matter if she’s on her way to the gym or Sunday mass. The one who break dances like it’s her job and hypes you up like no other. The one who brings out confidence like you didn’t know you had and shows you what life is all about. The kind of girl who tells you to drop that guy and go for that job because, why the hell not. The one who makes a 2 hour conversation feel like 2 minutes and only drinks spicy margaritas. Who makes you feel utterly badass. Everyone needs an Abby Robinson.

Whether or not you want to admit it, you are only the sum of who you surround yourself by. So make them worth your while. Find the people who make you confident, safe, comforted, supported, ambitious, at home, badass, loved, authentic, humble, and who shine your light.

Life is too damn short to not find the ones who bring out the best in you. Don’t be afraid to go and find them because man will they change your life.

A love letter to my people, thank you for making me a better version of myself. Today and everyday after, I love you all.

Xoxo, P